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Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Disclaimer: I am talking about worldly issues in this post, and they are mainly about they way the world sees sex. I use semi-graphic language. I have these viewpoints because I know Jesus. So, bear with me before you jump to any conclusions please.

There’s this magazine blurb taped to the inside of the wheelchair accessible bathroom stall in my dorm. To sum it up, the article talks about what to do when you feel like you are going too far physically with a guy or what to say if he won’t wear a condom during sex. It’s “Safetember” in ResLife land. They like to use the first full month of school to remind us of the dangers of college life (like drunk driving, drugs, robbery, and unsafe sex). I am about to rant. 3…2…1!

First of all, I want to stake a claim. No one can honestly believe that humans are inherently good. They just can’t. If they do, then they are sheltered, lie-believing souls. When my campus dedicates an entire month to warning us about the dangers of college life, I just cannot believe that we are inherently good. These problems: rape, drunk driving, theft, and being taken advantage of, run so rampantly that university campuses are incredibly serious about them. My secular campus finds it vital to warn kids about the dangers of entering this world of “fun” put on by other…kids. And those kids are evil. Sometimes I think: how could some jerk slip a roofie in a girl’s drink and rape her? How could some kid in his early twenties be so desperate for unattatched sex that he would knock a girl unconscious and have sex with her limp body? That’s evil. How can someone be so desperate for money to go into someone else’s room and steal their laptop? It’s evil. It’s lies. People believe lies that they need money, sex, and to feel good. People are evil.

Rant #2
As much as magazines pour out article after article about sex positions, how to have naughty sex, and pleasing your man, lately, I’ve seen a few articles about how to stop going too far physically. I was surprised. What a mixed signal though! To be telling girls how to do this and that in bed, and then turn around and say, WAIT!!!! if it’s uncomfortable for you, don’t do it. The article in my bathroom about how to slow down your man dripped with compromise. It made me woozy. My version of that article would have been a lot shorter:

If he won’t wear a condom, DUMP HIM!!!!

If he does something that doesn’t feel good, WHY IS HE DOING IT?!

If you’ve gone too far and don’t want to again, DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION!

But this article is full of empty grace. It encourages speaking up and honesty with the guy you’re “hooking up” with but also to be positive. “Hey we went too far, but I still like you, and I like kissing you….but we went too far, but I still want to be with youand you’re awesome, but we went too far, but don’t get me wrong, I still like youdon’t break up with meplease…?” Now, hopefully said guy respects that and is just as determined to never go there again, but why, 17 magazine, WHY are you making it about HIM? If I am freaked out of my mind about physical activity, and my womanly emotions are out of whack, why are you asking me to preserve his feelings and build him up for something I’m uncomfortable about? I am just not that mature.

Cosmo, write me an article about being confident in myself. Write me an article about waiting for a guy who makes me laugh. A guy who thinks I am awesome. Who loves me for me. Stop telling me how to have sex. Guys do not need to be impressed. I don’t want to live my life to please a man unless his name is Jesus. We were not made for that. 17, write me an article about something I can be passionate about, inspire me to change the world, empower me to learn about it and DO SOMETHING, not DO it.

Having sex does not change the world. It might change mine, and I don’t mean in a good way. But this blog isn’t about that. This blog is about what the media communicates. Yes, I feel so strongly about this because I love Jesus, and I know the truth. But if I didn’t, it’d be so discouraging to hear this message (over and over and over):

Your value comes from being in a relationship.
Your value comes from pleasing whatever guy you’re hooking up with.
You don’t have value unless you look good.
This life is about sex.
Sex changes you for the better.
Sex will make you feel good.
Sex is #1.
Your man is #1
You are #1.

LIES, I tell you, LIES!
Every girl I know is insecure. Cosmo, 17, you’re feeding her insecurities and adding to her lies. You are making a weak nation of women who give in, who wrap themselves in darkness, hide behind facades. I’m trying not to cry as I write this. I get it. Sex sells. But what any of those girls wouldn’t give for someone to tell them they are beautiful and worth it as is, without a man, just them.

The Lord delights in me. He knows me. He loves me if I’m dressed up and loves me if I’m in baggy clothes. He loves me when I’m good and loves me when I suck. He does not ask me to be better. He just hopes I will love him back. And that love, changes everything. It changes the way I live, the way I go to class, the way I love people, the way I see the world, it will change the world, God through me. This love moves, it is lasting, it is not confined to a bed, not confined to a few minutes of physical pleasure, it permeates everything. This love is where I find my value, it’s where I find my worth, it’s what I let enslave me. I refuse to let sex or earthly relationships mean so much to me. Sex is a beautiful thing. I want to have sex with one person, I want it to be an act of love, not of lust. But sex isn’t eternal. Neither is my future husband. And I want to live for what is eternal. And that’s Jesus. And it could be you.

Now, I don’t want to leave out the guys. Guys need to be told the exact same things. They need to know where their worth comes from. Guys are not told “how to be” as much as girls are. They need to be told. They need good examples. Honestly, all I can think of is Jesus.

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Sex

Hello, my name is Bridget Gee. I am 20 years old and I am a Christian. My entire life, people have known me to be very outspoken about my faith. When there’s a Jesus freak around, that also apparently means she’s a virgin.

I once had a friend ask me my freshman year in high school, “Hey Bridget, you’re going to be one of those people that wait until marriage to have sex aren’t you?” My response, “Uhh…yeah!” (Like he was the crazy one, haha.)

I just wanted to take a moment and explain why I think being a virgin is so important because I don’t think I’ve explained it. It does not solely lie in the fact that I’m a Christian. Because here’s the deal, if not having sex makes a person pure, than I might as well have had sex. I am not pure. I have said this before. I joke around about sex, I make light of the subject, I have major lust issues sometimes. But I haven’t had sex, so where does that put me? Does it still qualify me as pure? I don’t think so. So what’s the point?

My attitude is that sex is really important. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s something I want. But it is a HUGE deal. Making sex casual is denying it its credence. If sex weren’t a big deal, then having a child wouldn’t be a big deal. If sex weren’t a big deal, then prostitution wouldn’t be a big deal. If sex weren’t a big deal than trafficking wouldn’t be a big deal. Rape wouldn’t be a big deal. Porn wouldn’t be a big deal. But they all are! They are all a big deal because sex is involved! Sex rules the earth. None of that stuff, other than having a child, is beautiful. It’s all tragic.

The point is, I want sex to be awesome. Sex doesn’t seem awesome before marriage to me. Before marriage, no one promised to love me no matter what. Before marriage, I don’t want children. There are no regrets for me if I wait. I will never know sex to be casual, it will always be special and beautiful. Sex will never be ugly for me. It will be personal and truly romantic. I will know that my husband loves me before we have sex. I will know he’s committed and honors and respects me before we have sex. And, no one else will know that part of me.

For me, waiting is well worth it. I may want to have sex now, but I don’t need instant gratification. I don’t have anything to prove or satisfy. I have the most secure love in my Jesus that sex could never come close to. So, this blog wasn’t to make anyone feel guilty. It wasn’t a, “you’re wrong for losing your virginity” rant. It is just my reasons why sex is so precious and doesn’t live outside the context of marriage in my life.

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