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Posts Tagged ‘not good’

Pure…ish

Everyday more and more I realize that it’s not about me. I sometimes ask God to give me more of a global perspective because I get caught up in what I know and I act like that’s absolute reality. The world is not attached to my feet. I’m just a blip on it.

So when I am surprised at things sometimes, I feel like I shouldn’t be. Things and people exist beyond me.

The most recent example is this weekend. I am in Indiana for my cousin’s wedding. These cousins grew up homeschooled, in pentecostal churches, never watching TV. They are the sweetest, kindest hearted, and most innocent people I know.

Our parents are siblings and have lived completely different lives, as have we. We all love Jesus so much and have committed to living our lives for him. But we could not be more different! How did I turn out so worldly? Why do things that shock them do nothing for me? Why have I justified some situations that they are appalled at?

We grew up differently, but still. Where did my standards for what is right and wrong for me to be a part of change? I have talked about this topic endlessly and thought about it with much conviction. I love where I’m at and my relationship with God. I am by no means perfect. I mess up everyday. And even as a Christian, I have been considered quite innocent and naive about “street smarts.” But next to my cousins, I am Jezebel! (If you don’t know who that is, check out the Bible 1Kings 16-2Kings 9)

I’m sorry, I don’t feel like this blog is very coherent, but my point is this: I wish I would guard my heart more. I wish I would hold myself to a higher standard of purity. Because I am not pure. I don’t know why I called this blog Pure…ish. It should be called Not Pure. There are good people out there. I am not one of them. Not even 50.1% good.

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