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Posts Tagged ‘No one else can give this’

Jesus

Last night in my small group Bible study, we read Mark 8:22-9:1. In it, Jesus takes one of his disciples Peter aside, and asks him, “Who do you say that I am?” Peter responds, “The Christ.” (God.) At the end of small group, we were asked to write down our answers to who we say Jesus is and then we shared them. It was awesome.

I felt like writing it as a blog. But I am starting again, from scratch.

Jen said, “You are everything I yearn for.” Literally, to need and want you is the deepest desire within all of us. We just take it out on other empty things. Jesus, you are everything. Nothing that exists is apart from you. Everything points to you. It is all about you. You are the star of the show. But you are humble.

You know us all in a way that one else does. My parents don’t even come close. You know every ligament and sinew and synapse and heartbeat. You know the number of hairs on my head, and that number changes constantly! You know the color of my blood when it’s inside me and outside me. You know how many times an hour I breath in and out. You know why I say certain things I do and why I do certain things I do. Because sometimes I don’t! You know what’s on my my mind, what’s at the front of my mind, or the back. You know what I dream about, want to dream about, and am dreaming about. You know what my dreams are. You know my reality. You are reality. Without you, life isn’t life, it’s a dying tragic fantasy.

You are hope and laughter and joy and tears of gladness. You are in the love my best friends give me when they come down to visit. You are in that moment I feel when they leave- so good to know that I am loved. You are smiles and big-bright-white-shining-like-Heaven clouds. There is nothing that has been made that wasn’t made through you. You are the giggles of a baby, and their rosy red cheeks. You are the way ice cream tastes on a Phoenix summer day. You are the reason I even know what ice cream is. You are really good parents and really whacky siblings. You are all things good. You have given me all things good.

You are my counselor and challenger. I feel dared by you everyday. You are the one who whispers things in my ear that I love and want to do. But I don’t always do them. Because sometimes, they are scary and exciting. And I’m scared. But you’re calm and you are peace. You were there when I pounded on the walls screaming at you because I thought my parents weren’t going to be redeemed. You are there after no more tears fall and the ache within me is going away. You are there when I am on a beautiful walk alone on a Springy day. You kiss me with the wind and delight in me with rain. You listen when I sing in the shower. You laugh when I laugh. You laugh at me. Because you love me.

You are my divine romance. You know exactly what makes me happy. Like when I need an ice cold drink and I open up the fridge and you made dad get out of bed that morning to get me some Arizona Iced Tea so I could find it later that afternoon. You are my God in all the little moments. When I read a book or type this blog. You make my heartbeat faster than anyone. You make my blood race through my veins. You wake me up every morning and give me thoughts like, “hey, I love riding my bike.” You are my passion and you fuel my passion. I can’t stop talking about you. I can’t stop wanting to share you. I can’t stop thinking about you when I think about others.

You are who I always come back to. I don’t know why I ever left! I fall on my knees because I think I need to beg you for mercy on behalf of my selfish self. I stay on my knees when it’s dark and I hear gunshots. Because I don’t know where else to go. You are more comforting than a nitelite or my covers or my bed. You are more of a refuge than a nice warm fire during a blizzard. You are there when a man’s legs are crushed beneath a building in Haiti. You are there when we can go no where else, see no one else, hear no else.

You scream at me and yell for me to turn around. Because you are right behind me. You wish I would turn around and ask you, “what do you want?” Because you would say, “You.” Why are you so in love with me? I have done nothing right. You are Right. You are Just. You are all things good. You rush to people. You lift them up. You save save save. You’re the ultimate super hero. With no weaknesses. The enemy is in ruin hobbling around trying to create destruction with little luck. The victory is yours. You say, “the victory is OURS.”

You are the one who tells me that you know I will never be good enough. Because sometimes, I feel like I have to be. Sometimes I try so hard to be good enough. And it hurts. And you grab me by the heart and you pull me back and say, “stop. rest.” You lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove me.If you were my friend on facebook, you would write on my wall every second as if we were in love. Because, well, we are.

But you love me more.

You are love and my stregth and my song. You are everything my heart longs for deep down in that aching pit that needs….

YOU.

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