Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Challenge’ Category

Let’s get serious. This is my Big Girl Blog, after all.

When I was younger, and even into high school, I had a shameless faith. I remember being in Sunday school, singing simple songs about a Savior that was so big, so grand, and so great. I believed in the deepest parts of my four year old heart that that GIANT God intimately loved me, even more than my parents did, more than anyone did. I believed that He loved everyone and wanted everyone to love Him too. That belief led me to just NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT for years and years and years. I could not stop talking about my Jesus with friends and teachers and coworkers and everyone I met. I knew that my God was big enough to heal all their hurts, make their lives new and bright like mine, and make sure they knew how much they were loved by the God of the Universe!

This year, I have missed that girl, who does not forget her Maker and what He is capable of.

For a while now, I have been struggling in my faith. Maybe it’s just a part of getting older, being exposed to the darkness of the world, the darkness of my own soul through self-awareness, and laziness. Forget the ‘maybe,’ it’s all three of those things. Life has been a journey (and don’t get me wrong, my life has been a blessed one), but I strongly believe that everyone’s deepest hurt is just as deep as anyone else’s deepest hurt. My hurt is all I know, and I know that it has led me to sin in ways I never thought imaginable. My hurt has made me weak and I have become a person who does not run into that wonderful, big, GIANT, grand, loving God’s arms when I need strength.

Pause. Let me tell you a story.

The book of Daniel in the Bible has a recurring theme: God will always win.
That’s my paraphrase, anyway. This book is crazy. Give it a read sometime. Daniel is about Daniel’s experience as an exile of Judah who is forced to serve the king of Babylon from a young age. Through God’s favor and spirit in Daniel, Daniel gains favor over and over again with each new king by interpreting dreams. Daniel is faithful to his God. Through all obstacles, Daniel prays everyday to Yahweh, he gives all the glory to Yahweh, and he lets his God do work in this foreign land in which he is essentially enslaved. Over and over again, the Babylonian leaders are humbled through seeing Daniel’s God work. Many times, they say this about Daniel’s God:

“his dominion is an everlasting dominion, it will never be destroyed.”

Essentially, God wins.
And this is the God that I believe in: a God who would let some of his sons be exiled and enslaved in another country in order that He could be given glory in that country. A God who shows up when his sons are being thrown into a fiery furnace. They were not burned. A God who gives the prideful king of a foreign country a dream for one of his sons to interpret so that that nation might glorify him.

Over and over: “his dominion is an everlasting dominion, his kingdom will last forever.”

That’s the God that little Bridget believed in. That’s the God that little Bridget wanted her friends, family, and teachers to know. A God in control. A God that shows up. A God that saves. A God that would do anything to win you over. A God who is SO BIG that it’s terrifying, and yet still loves you.

I guess I haven’t stopped to remember my God and all the good he’s done for me already. My mighty God who is in control, and only has an adventure in store for me. Like Daniel, I hope that even if I am taken into a place I don’t want to go, that I could still be faithful to my Big God who is in control.

God is still God, no matter where I am. He still has a plan, even when I have no clue. He still knows what’s up, even when I feel at a total loss.

Did you ever consider that when you make life about you and your situation, that you’re greatly minimizing your world? When you make your life about Jesus, then the possibilities are endless! You can become a person who interprets dreams for the nations. You could become a tamer of lions. You could become someone who turns the world’s most powerful kings to the Lord Most High.

That is what I MUST do. I MUST let God be who He is! If I don’t, then my world shrinks to nothing. The possibilities end where my own capabilities end. Without God, I am nothing. Literally. I wouldn’t exist.

Just talking about this, reading the story of Daniel, and thinking back on who God is has already built up my faith some more. Lord, pour it down on me. I can’t get enough of you.

Read Full Post »

Disclaimer: I am talking about worldly issues in this post, and they are mainly about they way the world sees sex. I use semi-graphic language. I have these viewpoints because I know Jesus. So, bear with me before you jump to any conclusions please.

There’s this magazine blurb taped to the inside of the wheelchair accessible bathroom stall in my dorm. To sum it up, the article talks about what to do when you feel like you are going too far physically with a guy or what to say if he won’t wear a condom during sex. It’s “Safetember” in ResLife land. They like to use the first full month of school to remind us of the dangers of college life (like drunk driving, drugs, robbery, and unsafe sex). I am about to rant. 3…2…1!

First of all, I want to stake a claim. No one can honestly believe that humans are inherently good. They just can’t. If they do, then they are sheltered, lie-believing souls. When my campus dedicates an entire month to warning us about the dangers of college life, I just cannot believe that we are inherently good. These problems: rape, drunk driving, theft, and being taken advantage of, run so rampantly that university campuses are incredibly serious about them. My secular campus finds it vital to warn kids about the dangers of entering this world of “fun” put on by other…kids. And those kids are evil. Sometimes I think: how could some jerk slip a roofie in a girl’s drink and rape her? How could some kid in his early twenties be so desperate for unattatched sex that he would knock a girl unconscious and have sex with her limp body? That’s evil. How can someone be so desperate for money to go into someone else’s room and steal their laptop? It’s evil. It’s lies. People believe lies that they need money, sex, and to feel good. People are evil.

Rant #2
As much as magazines pour out article after article about sex positions, how to have naughty sex, and pleasing your man, lately, I’ve seen a few articles about how to stop going too far physically. I was surprised. What a mixed signal though! To be telling girls how to do this and that in bed, and then turn around and say, WAIT!!!! if it’s uncomfortable for you, don’t do it. The article in my bathroom about how to slow down your man dripped with compromise. It made me woozy. My version of that article would have been a lot shorter:

If he won’t wear a condom, DUMP HIM!!!!

If he does something that doesn’t feel good, WHY IS HE DOING IT?!

If you’ve gone too far and don’t want to again, DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION!

But this article is full of empty grace. It encourages speaking up and honesty with the guy you’re “hooking up” with but also to be positive. “Hey we went too far, but I still like you, and I like kissing you….but we went too far, but I still want to be with youand you’re awesome, but we went too far, but don’t get me wrong, I still like youdon’t break up with meplease…?” Now, hopefully said guy respects that and is just as determined to never go there again, but why, 17 magazine, WHY are you making it about HIM? If I am freaked out of my mind about physical activity, and my womanly emotions are out of whack, why are you asking me to preserve his feelings and build him up for something I’m uncomfortable about? I am just not that mature.

Cosmo, write me an article about being confident in myself. Write me an article about waiting for a guy who makes me laugh. A guy who thinks I am awesome. Who loves me for me. Stop telling me how to have sex. Guys do not need to be impressed. I don’t want to live my life to please a man unless his name is Jesus. We were not made for that. 17, write me an article about something I can be passionate about, inspire me to change the world, empower me to learn about it and DO SOMETHING, not DO it.

Having sex does not change the world. It might change mine, and I don’t mean in a good way. But this blog isn’t about that. This blog is about what the media communicates. Yes, I feel so strongly about this because I love Jesus, and I know the truth. But if I didn’t, it’d be so discouraging to hear this message (over and over and over):

Your value comes from being in a relationship.
Your value comes from pleasing whatever guy you’re hooking up with.
You don’t have value unless you look good.
This life is about sex.
Sex changes you for the better.
Sex will make you feel good.
Sex is #1.
Your man is #1
You are #1.

LIES, I tell you, LIES!
Every girl I know is insecure. Cosmo, 17, you’re feeding her insecurities and adding to her lies. You are making a weak nation of women who give in, who wrap themselves in darkness, hide behind facades. I’m trying not to cry as I write this. I get it. Sex sells. But what any of those girls wouldn’t give for someone to tell them they are beautiful and worth it as is, without a man, just them.

The Lord delights in me. He knows me. He loves me if I’m dressed up and loves me if I’m in baggy clothes. He loves me when I’m good and loves me when I suck. He does not ask me to be better. He just hopes I will love him back. And that love, changes everything. It changes the way I live, the way I go to class, the way I love people, the way I see the world, it will change the world, God through me. This love moves, it is lasting, it is not confined to a bed, not confined to a few minutes of physical pleasure, it permeates everything. This love is where I find my value, it’s where I find my worth, it’s what I let enslave me. I refuse to let sex or earthly relationships mean so much to me. Sex is a beautiful thing. I want to have sex with one person, I want it to be an act of love, not of lust. But sex isn’t eternal. Neither is my future husband. And I want to live for what is eternal. And that’s Jesus. And it could be you.

Now, I don’t want to leave out the guys. Guys need to be told the exact same things. They need to know where their worth comes from. Guys are not told “how to be” as much as girls are. They need to be told. They need good examples. Honestly, all I can think of is Jesus.

Read Full Post »

I had a major realization today. My entire life is one unknown phase to the next.

I have been one of those people saying, many a time: “I just hate the unknown.”

What a dumb thing to say!

Practically everything is unknown! Since the summer after I graduated high school, I have been through multiple “unknown” phases in my life. Let me tell you, the paranoia, anxiety and fear that surrounded me before going to University of Arizona ruined my summer. I had a fantastic freshman year in which God revealed to me daily the reasons he kept me in his beautiful Sonoran desert. Then, at the end of my freshman year, I was offered the position of Campus Outreach Team leader with InterVarsity, my Christian group that I’m a part of here at UA. It was exciting, but I was also very nervous, because I was intimidated by those who filled the COT shoes years prior. Also, I was moving off campus, to be a big girl and live in an apartment, and be more in charge of all of my expenses. Very scary, and yet exciting things. My first semester sophomore year was a whirlwind of crazy finance issues, deep involvement with InterVarsity, and God cultivating in me a deep need for him, a stronger trust in Him, and bigger faith in Him. Second semester last year was really awesome, lots of new and unexpected things were happening. I remember near the end of the school year, I was very nervous, and pretty scared about my summer, and my upcoming semester in England. I didn’t know what either would look like, where I would get money to pay for things, and how I would sustain my long distance relationship. I kind of wish that I had someone very clearly tell me at the time: Just trust Jesus. But what I did get to hear, which is something that should be obvious to me, was that God will be with me, and he goes ahead of me and prepares a place for me. As you know, I got to see that played out. I had an amazing, challenging summer. God completely provided for me. And my semester in England just couldn’t have been more full! Now, I wasn’t given everything I wanted. My expectations were blown, and lots of things were taken away from me. But what I learned is that I have a solid foundation in Jesus and not a whole lot can shake me. I loved learning that I need to maximize God’s promises in my life- that he only has good, beautiful, and glorifying things planned for me and that I don’t need to know what they are. But just to expect abundant life. So, going into this semester, I had no idea what to expect, it was very unknown. I’m living with my closest friends here in Tucson and couldn’t be more blessed to be. I have a great job, that more than provides for me. I have made some wonderful friends there, and I love my supervisors. School is fantastic, I’ve added a religious studies minor, and it is so much fun so far! And being back in my InterVarsity community has been wonderful and exciting.

As you can see, nearly every semester, I’ve entered into a new unknown and whether I approached it fearfully or with joy, it has been beyond my wildest expectations. So I don’t know why I hate the unknown. I should love it actually. Paul says to the Corinthians in his second letter, chapter 4, verses 16-18:
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

I’ve been going through some very human struggles these past couple of months. I’ve really had to press into Jesus to renew my perspective on what he’s doing with my life, and to tell my heart its worth, and to come back alive, because I’ve been a bit dormant for a while.

The reason I’m bringing this all up is because not only is my summer just completely up in the air, so is my entire Senior year. I made a huge move on the chess board of life last night. I signed up to move back into the dorms for my senior year of college. I’m going to be doing bonded ministry, throwing away my comfort and independence in order to see God move in a mighty way in a dorm community. I am so so so so so stoked for it. I seriously know that this is the right and best choice for my life. For the first time in my life, I am fixing my life on the unseen of next year- and trust me, there are SO many aspects of it I have no idea what to expect- and just trusting God. This summer, I am going to be trying to make as much money as possible to live in the dorm without taking out another loan and I have no idea how I’m going to put away 6 thousand dollars, but I don’t know, I just have to trust Jesus that he’ll provide. I am so excited. I love freshmen. I love living on campus. I love people and relationships and especially I am madly in love with the Savior of the world who rescued me from slavery to self and sin and YUCK! I am happily, merrily running into The Unknown!!!

Ha, this is the daily verse on BibleGateway.com (the best website everrrr):

““For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

Amen. =)

Read Full Post »

Yesterday, I saw Disney’s Tangled in theaters with my little brother Luke. Throughout the movie, I attempted to hide my tears. For some reason, and I don’t know at what point I became such a softie, the movie broke my heart. So, it’s a retelling of the story of Rapunzel and her hair. She is a kidnapped princess and every year, her King and Queen parents have a festival on her birthday hoping she will see the lanterns everyone releases into the night sky and come home to them. I just downright bawled throughout the scene where Rapunzel makes it back to her  kingdom and sits in a boat watching all the lanterns in the sky that are there for her. And she doesn’t even know it. They are there for her! All those lights, every year, are released into the sky with the hope that they will bring her home. It’s a romantic setting, so Rapunzel and her man friend Flinn sing a song with lyrics something along the line of, “I’ve finally seen the light.” Now, I know they were eventually referring to each other, where they both realize that they want to be with each other forever blahblahblah. But, I couldn’t help but think of the story of the Prodigal Son that Jesus tells in the book of Luke. Tears streamed down my face when the King and Queen are finally reunited with their lost princess.

I think a lot of people are familiar with the Prodigal Son story, but I will summarize it again. So there’s this rich father, and one of his sons is tired of living at home, so he asks his dad for his share of the inheritance now. And the father obliges, even though his son as good as considered his own father dead by requesting the money. The father lets his son go, and he waits everyday, looking out toward the road, to see if his son will come home. Meanwhile, the selfish son squanders his inheritance and is reduced to eat with the pigs. So eventually, he conjures a plan to go home and ask his dad to work for him, as a servant. But, when his father sees him from far off, he goes running, throws his robes and ring on his finger, and throws a huge party with lots of food.

We are the Son, and God is the Father. Go figure.

In Tangled, Rapunzel’s parents had a festival EVERY YEAR on her birthday in hopes she would return. There’s a heartbreaking scene right before they release the first lantern where the King and Queen look into each others’ eyes in hope and despair. It was the 18th year. When Rapunzel finally realizes she’s the lost princess, she goes home, and before that, she even claims that she will fight for the rest of her life to get there if she has to. After she arrives, there’s a HUGE party. And the entire kingdom was waiting expectantly.

I had plans to write this blog before I saw Tangled. However, I thought it was worth noting because it was such a good representation of God’s character. Before I dive into this, let me explain where I’m coming from.

This summer and this past semester, I grew to know a part of God I never knew before. I like to call it the “Charlie Brown” factor. There’s this great quote that I joke is the “story of my life.” Charlie Brown says, “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” And boy, have I experienced that! I mean, most of my life I have experienced unrequited love. In fact, I’m not so sure it’s over. I tend to love a lot more than most people. It’s just my thing.

There was a moment this summer that I was heartbroken over some friendship issues. It was painful and I didn’t know what to do. What occurred to me was how heartbroken I was from problems with one friend, how much more God must hurt over the billions that reject him on a daily basis. Realizing this deepened my heartbreak, but also deepened my need to love well. For God’s sake, I want to love people who reject me, who don’t love me back.

It’s EXHAUSTING.

Then, as I have mentioned, my boyfriend broke up with me in November. I was in love. He wasn’t. Major heartbreak. More than ever though, I believe that my heart got closer to God’s. Just think about it. He is the biggest most rejected being EVER. He is so madly in love with us, because he KNOWS US. He knows every little thing about us, because he made us, and he just couldn’t be crazier about us. That’s why he wants us to love him back so badly. He carries the Universe’s biggest torch (maybe that’s what the sun is…). As a Sovereign God, he has the compassion, grace, and love to respect our decision to accept or reject him. What a gentleman. So, what could I do but respect the people I love’s decisions to reject me and not love me back? It hurts so bad. It is probably the most painful thing, not being loved.

But the fact that God deals with that on such a grander scale just totally blows my mind. And I apologize to Him for it, and I tell Him I will love Him hard everyday for the rest of my life to make up for it. Luckily, he doesn’t need us, so it’s not like he’s starving for love and becoming emaciated for lack of love. He’s God. He doesn’t need us, he wants us. More than anything.

And not only is Jesus a gentleman, he’s a hero too. He would send out lanterns and sit and wait, and look towards the road everyday, he would post signs and have press conferences and knock down mountains for your love, for you to come home. He hopes and waits everyday. He gives you chance after chance to turn around and see him. But, he won’t force you. And you may be kidnapped and have NO IDEA he’s not that far, waiting for your return. Or you may have blatantly got up and left, and you are trying to find love elsewhere. But he’s doing things, he’s whispering in your ear, he’s trying to grab your attention. He’s so relentless. He’s madly in love.

I’ll leave on this note. There’s this song by my favorite artist JJ Heller called, “You Would Love Me Too.” The chorus goes,
La la la la la
I love you
Ooh, I really do
If you ever paid attention
I think you would love me too.

Think about all the times you’ve been rejected whether by a friend or more than that. When I’m heartbroken, I hardly eat. God gets that. He totally understands. Give God a chance. He’s the best thing you could ever invest your heart in.

THE BEST THING EVER, I promise. He’ll throw you a major party. And he’s waiting expectantly. He always hopes. So, give him a chance. He’s given you endless.

I dare you.

P.S. Most of the Old Testament is documented history of God’s unending love and grace and the constant rejection he faces.

Read Full Post »

I’ve thought of several more titles for this blog, my blog of all blogs, for example:

Don’t Count Your Chickens Until They’ve Hatched
Loss, Loss, and more Loss
Glenyce Conte is my New Best Friend
The Price of a Broken Heart is About $500
The Most Historic Week of My Life

If you haven’t heard, I just had the worst week of my life, and if you know me well, I don’t say things like that very often. But, before you read this blog, I want to make a disclaimer. This is quite the story. I’m going to do a bit of story telling that will sound like complaint, and will quickly turn into “the lesson of the story” type deal, but if you didn’t believe in Jesus before this, then you will after. And if you don’t, I will punch you. =)

Oh yeah, and feel free to repost this blog, I want people to hear this story.

Have you ever read the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? Well, that could be another title of this blog, except my name’s Bridget Gee, and it was not just a day, but a week.

Hmm, well, let’s begin at the beginning.

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. Now, I do not want him to be vilified in any way. Simply put, he’s not in love with me. And, it’s not fair to keep dating someone you’re not in love with. That’s how I see it. Also simply put, it broke my heart. We’ll revisit this in a few minutes.

The next day, I was off to Italy for a few days, because I didn’t have class. I have always wanted to go to Italy because it is so historic, beautiful and full of PASTA AND GELATO! However, I went with a heavy heart, and no appetite. In Rome, Glenyce (my American friend) and I, had a good time seeing some of the most historical ruins in the world, trying to find good gelato, enjoying ancient Catholicism and questionable statues. I even had a Nutella crepe! Thursday morning, the Good Mood Blogger Contest I was in, was over for me because I was #22, and I had to be in the Top 20 to move on to Phase 2. It was sad, but I wasn’t in a very good mood that week, so I was kind of apathetic.

Early Friday morning, Glenyce and I left Rome for Milan, to explore that industrial city and shop before coming back to England. Saturday evening is when all Hell Broke Loose. (Except not really, this is me exaggerating.) I was in La Galleria, all the shops surrounding the Duomo, Europe’s 3rd largest cathedral (beautiful, by the way), when I was determined to spend my last 70 Euro before leaving the next day. I was feeling better about my heart, and life, and being in Italy in general when I walked into this shop called Love Therapy. There were gnomes everywhere. And immediately, I thought, I am spending the rest of my money on Alissa Smith, my friend back in Tucson who ADORES gnomes. I could not pass up  the opportunity. After picking out a great shirt, and spotting a fabulous sequined vest that I wanted, I decided I was ready to get my money out.

But my wallet wasn’t there. I searched and searched, and, no wallet. Which meant no passport. I went into an immediate state of shock. This couldn’t be happening to me.

Glenyce and I sort of retraced my steps, but the truth was, there was no hope. Milan is a big place with professional pickpockets everywhere. My one regret is not leaving my passport at the hotel that morning. It was then that Glenyce and I embarked on the next most stressful 62 hours of our lives. I went to the Polizia to file a report, they had no other way to help me. I went to the US Embassy and it was closed, so Glenyce and I went back to our hotel, trying to come up with plans.

Luckily, our hotel had scanned copies of our passports, so I made them print me out a copy. I also had my letter of acceptance from UEA, proving that I am supposed to be in Norwich studying. I called the US Consolate (word of advice, they say only to call in case of life or death when they are closed, but you should press that number anyway, especially if you have NO CLUE WHAT TO DO) and they told me to deal with the airlines/immigration myself, or else see them on Monday morning (which was not the next day). So, Sunday morning, Glenyce and I made our way to the Centrale Station, got on an hour bus ride to Bergamo Airport and talked to RyanAir Italian workers. After speaking with UK Immigration, I was informed that Italy would let me leave, but the United Kingdom would not take me, so I had to get a provisionary passport the next day.

Which meant spending hundreds of dollars. (New plane tickets, coach tickets, bus rides, hotel room, and passport.) Glenyce, angel that she is (as well as her parents), paid for everything. So, Glenyce and I went to a hotel that wouldn’t have let me stay if it weren’t for the copy of my passport, tried to take our minds off of the chaos by wandering around Milan, came back and crashed, and woke up in the morning for more fun.

And by fun, I mean waiting at the Consolate for a couple of hours to get me a new passport. Things steadily got better from there. Glenyce and I spent a lot of time sitting around at airports. We missed our 2am coach ride from London to Norwich, so we waited until 6am, and finally got back to Norwich around 10am.

Oh, and did I mention that halfway through I got my period? Icing on the cake. On the big fat delicious cake of Life. (I don’t even like cake…or icing…haha.)

Alright, so there’s my story. The main point of this entire blog is the lesson.

1. The Italian Police are worthless. But, a police report is NOT.
2. Don’t ever carry your passport with your money. In fact, carry all your stuff in different places. That way, if you lose one thing, you don’t lose it all.
3. The UK really needs to get over themselves.

But more than that, I learned, that I am so blessed. I am blessed to not have been mugged the way I heard someone else was that I met at the US Consolate. I am so blessed to have a friend that stayed by my side through it all. I am blessed to have parents that don’t have a price tag on me, they just want me safe. I am so blessed to be loved by many, many people who have been praying for me in the past week.

Sometimes, I don’t understand how people make it in life without Jesus. During the whole process from Saturday evening to Tuesday morning, I was under control. Glenyce and I had our times of tears, but we had many more times of laughter. We were able to look at the irony of life, take it for what it was and move on. I was so lucky to have someone like that with me. But more than that, I wasn’t mad at God. I was really comforted by him.

He kept telling me that there are worse things. And that this life isn’t about me. And that I would be ok. Just because I lose things, doesn’t mean I’m lost. He kept speaking over my heart that I am greatly loved, even if the man I love isn’t in love with me. He kept speaking over my heart that I have an abundance of wealth even though I had no money. He kept telling me that he has something REALLY good for me even though I did not move on in the Good Mood Blogger Contest.

Before leaving for Italy, I was talking to my friend Andy and he said, “Man, when it rains, it pours.” Little did I know, it would pour in my life that week. Taking blow after blow after blow really tested my character and integrity. It tested my faith and hope. And not for one moment did I lose either of those.

What I know about God is that he wants us to turn to Him for everything. Literally everything. He wants us to ask him for stuff. He wants us to rely on him and not each other, and not ourselves. I got the best opportunity to do that this past week. Jesus was my Comfort. He was my Provision. He still brought me joy even in the middle of all my pain and loss. I never felt alone, or abandoned or hopeless. And seriously, without Jesus, I would have felt all those things, and worse. I would have been mad and bitter through the entire process of getting home. But, I had peace. I have never been more convinced that Jesus is the answer to everything.

Because with Jesus, I don’t need any man to tell me he’s in love with me.

With Jesus, I don’t need money.

With Jesus, I don’t need a great job.

There’s this verse I’ve heard my whole life, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.” This week, I’ve figured out what that really means. I’m going to stop asking God “why?” because he knows what’s up. Eventually, I will know too.

I’m still hurting, but day by day, things get better. Plus, I can completely rest in the fact that the Lord has promised good to me.

And, I’m really excited to see just how good. =)

Read Full Post »

I used to dream of travelling the world. Things like this my dad would encourage me about. I always thought I would see the whole world in my life. I always used to believe that I would become something big, something famous. (Honestly, I still do at times.) But over the years, I have realized that my life is adventurous and exciting with Jesus alone! As I’ve grown up, God has revealed to me that no matter where I am, he is there and that’s what matters. I also have come into this mentality that I am not entitled to anything. God has only promised good to me, but he didn’t tell me what that would look like.

So I guess I want to start off by saying that I am blessed. Sitting in my room in my flat, I almost still can’t believe that I am actually in the UK. I have always planned to take a semester abroad, I have always seen myself in Europe, and since my freshman year, I had my mind set on England. So, when I walk outside in this foreign land, I am so blown away that I got myself here. I really don’t deserve to be here, but it is lovely.

On Wednesday morning, Brandon brought me to the Denver airport, and I was quite emotional leaving him. There is not a whole lot you can do to emotionally prepare yourself for a long distance relationship, so saying goodbye was tough for me. Over the next 24 hours, I flew to Philly, from Philly to Manchester, got my bags and headed to the train station where I purchased my 1 stop ticket. At the first stop I waited about 45 minutes for my train to Norwich and then after a 3 hour train ride through sheep smattered green hillsides, I arrived at the Norwich railway station. There, I was directed to the bus, which 2.20 British Sterling Pounds and a half hour later, I was at UEA! But no, that wasn’t the last of it! I had to pick up my key for my accommodation and then head off to Mary Chapman Court, in the City Centre.

The first glimpse I had of what I think God wants for me here was when I was in the cab on the way to my dorm. The driver was an older man from London, a very sweet guy. As we got talking, he asked me what I ultimately want to do with my life. And I realize that this is a common question, but at the same time is is pretty deep and personal. However, being Bridget Gee, I love to answer it. I told him about how I want to do ministry and that I’m a part of InterVarsity back at home and what that was all about. He really respected and admired that. Of course, as we pulled up to the building, he says to me, “you know, I’m not very religious, but I’m not atheist either…there are just a few questions I never could get answered and I was never settled with.” I told him that I thought those questions were always worth seeking out and he asked me one of them. All in all, it was a pleasant conversation. Now, that was me, off of 6 hours of sleep, being called to listen to this stranger pour out his heart and encourage him not to be a “fence sitter” as he put it.

When I look at this next semester, I see a lot of adventure and personal growth for me. I know God wants me to celebrate what he’s doing in my life and my heart, and I think he’s going to draw me closer to his heart. At the same time though, I don’t think there will be a moments’ pause for me to be sharing his love and spreading his light.  The students all around me range from philosophical atheist to madly in love with Christ. Often, they are very tolerant and accepting people, much like Americans I think, try to be. I’ve seen this spirit of relativism though, that is common in the U.S.- “I’ll do what’s good for me and you do what’s good for you.” I really want to learn how to show that Jesus IS what is good for all of us! I’m very excited to see what happens!

I have 4 flat mates. Petra is from Czech Republic, she is brilliant and caring. Victor is from Germany and he is also very smart and witty. I just met Harry today and he seems like an adventurous, funny guy. Becky also arrived today and she seems very sweet and welcoming. I look forward to forming relationships with all of them and becoming good friends. I made another friend Astrid, who is from Denmark and she is sweet and seems eager to experience everything! Today, she went with me to check out the Christian Union on campus and we talked all about church and religion on the bus ride over. Lastly, I’ve met my American friend Glenyce, who is from California and she is just a very easy going person who is also very fun. I like hanging out with her and have spent a couple days with her so far. I just love that everyone comes from different places and backgrounds, they have seen so many things and are passionate about a variety of subjects. But the need for love, the need for something to live for is universal. I’ve met plenty of people already and I think it’s going to teach me a lot about the world, and culture. Right now, I’m really enjoying soaking it all up!

As I mentioned, I went to a little get together the Christian Union put on today, it’s the Christian group on campus, run by students. They seem really nice and passionate about Jesus. Tuesday night is their main weekly meeting. I’m excited to have a place to go to see the local heart for the people of Norwich, and I can’t wait to get involved with the local church. All I know is, I have to dive in and milk this 3 months for all it’s worth. There’s no other way!

Lastly, Norwich is a beautiful place. I should be posting some pictures/video soon, so be on the lookout for that! My YouTube is beegeeAPK. I plan to give a bit of a tour of the place I’m living. It’s very green and very wet- the opposite of The Sonoran Desert. Apparently, I’m in the dryest place in England and yet is rains everyday! As a Phoenix native, I’m loving it so far. All the buildings are old and crammed together, the streets are cobblestone and there are people everywhere! I love how different it is here, it is a welcome change and promises a lot of adventure. Just out of God’s favor, I got a 4 day weekend. I only have class Tuesday-Thursday. So I plan to travel Europe a bit. I know now that I won’t be able to do everything my heart desires, but I am going to be well researched before I head out, in order to have the maximum experience in the minimum amount of time. If I can visit UK and the surrounding areas, go to Paris for some weekend, and hopefully a trip to Italy, I would be very happy. I would really like to visit LuLu in Germany, if that is at all possible and maybe stop in Spain and use some of my Spanish! If I could do all that, I would be a happy girl. But, I will be happy with whatever happens.

Alright, I’m off to bed soon. I’m just about over my jet lag. Be praying for my adventures, my relationship with God and others- both those here and you all back home. I still can’t believe I’m doing what I always wanted!

Read Full Post »

all of your sins were broadcast on the 5 o’clock news?

When I was nannying, I asked Angie if she knew what a sin was. She had never heard the term before. I think, in most cases, people see the word sin in a hellfire context. But here’s how I see sin: anything not glorifying God. So, every single little thing and every huge thing counts. Every tiny little lie you said to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, every time you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, if you’ve ever hurt yourself, if you ever took anything without asking, gossip, terrible words, murder, adultery, unforgiveness,  and that      whole      world    of      thoughts.

Just imagine being exposed.

A great person turns into a fraud. A hypocrite. A liar. A cheater. Heartless. A pervert.

Imagine! I thought about the implications of this. I can’t even count all my sins, or even pin point them. But I have a LOT. Endless amounts atoned for and maybe just forgotten. It’s shameful. If everyone I knew watched that news story, no matter how long it is, I may have every person turn their back on me. No one would trust me anymore. Would they? People may be repulsed by me. I would be alone.

Seriously. Think about it. What if that happened to you? Would the people in your life have much reason to want to stick around? Despite all of your sins? No. We humans walk away from bad people. We lock ’em up. We shake our heads in shame. We cut those ones off.

The guy on the radio who I heard ask this “what if?” followed it closely by, “then, we’d have no choice but to cling to Jesus.” At that moment, what has been taught to me over and over in my life was reaffirmed: Jesus is the only one who will always be there for me. He will never leave me.

Jesus was blameless, yet he took the pain and guilt of my sin (past, present, future) upon him, and died with it. He was burdened beyond belief with our problems, our faults, our screw-ups. Jesus sweat blood, he was so stressed. Jesus’ back was torn up on my account. On your account. He was spit at, ridiculed, hurled insults and lies. And he died for them too.

Imagine.

My Savior, put on the cross for a fake offense, and he is

torn

apart.

If all of my true offenses were laid bare, how would justice be sought?

Luckily, justice was sought for all my offenses (and yours). Jesus got up three days after his death, and left the sins behind. I no longer have to account for those. I don’t have to live in shame. I cling to Jesus, because he knows me, and loves me despite my repulsiveness. (And if you’re reading this, and you’re thinking, BG, you’re not repulsive you’re wrong. I am, and so are you. Anything that is unholy has no value. Again, Jesus is the way we get through this. In Him, we have value, forever.)

Thank God the atonement for all of my wrongdoings wasn’t left to the world! I would be eaten alive! I would be burned at the stake! I would be charred to a crisp! There would be no hope. There would be no second chance. There would be no grace. And I need all of that to survive.

So thank you Jesus, that you love me still. Because I am not good.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »