I like to say that I am “as single as they come.” I am a 26-year-old woman who has never had a traditional Valentine, but I have always had a strong sense that this day was just as much for me as it was for the gushiest of lovebirds. So when the New Year comes and the reds and greens turn into reds and pinks in grocery store aisles, my heart swells with joy and excitement for Valentine’s Day.
I have showered the people in my life with loving letters, hearts, flowers, candy, and mixed CDs to show them their great value to me. This desire to see the people in my life happy and loved has led me to become a bit of a matchmaker in my adulthood- already pairing and marrying off several couples!
Needless to say, even as a perpetually single lady, I am a true romantic.
A quick Google search defines romance as: a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.
I have never needed a Valentine to feel that life is full of mystery and excitement! You could chalk it up to my personality, but I think this quality that I have possessed most of my life goes a little deeper.
At the core of my being, I have always felt like I deserved to be loved on a grandiose level- one that I did not think the world could offer. I imagined that the most romantic scenario would be if a man declared that he would rather die than live without me.
I know. That’s so dramatic, but I would venture to say that we all resonate with that sentiment on some level, which is probably why February 14th is such a sensitive day for so many out there.
And trust me, friends, I get it. Singleness is a struggle bus.
This past weekend, I got the most “likes” I’ve ever received on a Facebook status about my mom creating a Christian Mingle account for me. I let my friends know that if they somehow saw this profile online, that they would be actually falling in love with my 60 year-old-mother and not me.
While I appreciate the hilarity of the whole situation and the desire that hundreds of people in my network have for me to find a special someone, there’s a major point that I don’t want people to miss this Valentine’s Day.
About a half hour before my mom took my love life into her own hands, we were having a classic mother-daughter heart-to-heart in which I admitted to her that lately I have been struggling with feeling alone. For me, this loneliness does not stem from my lack of a male counterpart, however; it is simply a side effect of the transient nature of my adult life.
So often, the world tells us, we tell each other, and we tell ourselves that romantic love from another person is the fix to the deep longing in our souls. I’m afraid that too often we use it as a Band-Aid so as to not go deeper into those vulnerable places, just as I attempted to with my mother. Although her motives were kind, she missed out on a great opportunity to go deeper with me.
Even in Church culture, romantic love can be distorted and idolized as something that will meet a great need inside of us.
A verse that deeply resonates with me is one that is so often stripped of its beauty in the face of romantic love.
Song of Solomon 3:4b says, “I found him whom my soul loves.”
Painted on pillows and calligraphy-penned posters, this verse is taken out of context and applied to the romantic notion that we are to be connected with one person who will perfectly complete us for all time.
And we are not wrong- but it’s not a husband or wife we should be looking to for wholeness.
Growing up, I loved Valentine’s Day because I don’t think I ever actually had to fight for this giant notion of romance that I so desired. I never had to reconcile that deep longing for a sacrificial “I-JUST-CAN’T-LIVE-WITHOUT-YOU” type of love because it had been fulfilled all along!
I love love because I know love!
I always knew that God wanted my love enough that he would die before having to lose me forever. Jesus’ death on the cross is that romantic gesture that my heart has always longed for, because in one fell swoop, he claimed me as his own. Death stood in between us, but he was willing to go to battle so that we could be together forever.
Jesus would rather die than be without us! He is the most heroic love in the history of the world!
I have found the one whom my soul loves in Christ.
And when I truly know how loved I am, it is so easy to love the day dedicated to love.
Don’t miss that point this Valentine’s Day, friends! The most romantic day of the year is for you because the Gospel is for you! The Gospel is the most exciting and mysterious truth of this life! The Gospel is for everyone- single, dating, married.
To my single friends, please, take advantage of Valentine’s Day! Buy yourself some flowers and chocolate. Take in the sweet taste and aroma of love to remember how much sweeter the Lord’s love is for you.
To my lovebirds, when your single friends admit to feeling alone, to desiring a spouse, or worrying about finding someone compatible for them, please don’t shame them and don’t jump to signing them up for a dating website.
Preach the Gospel to them.
That’s the most romantic thing you could ever do.